For those of you who can’t make the connection between the name of this blog and its content, I live in Maine.  And it gets *%@& cold in the winter here. Actually, I think one of the things Maine is famous for is that it is *%@& cold in the winter. But, I have found out, no one told this to the Mainers.  Even though I’ve only lived here a short time, I have come to understand how people survive living in inhospitable places (like the North Pole, or maybe Texas):  Denial.  

Denial, denial, denial.  

When the weather is reported on television here, you will always hear the word “unseasonably” followed by the appropriate “hot,” “cold,” “humid,” “windy,” “buggy,” or “Armageddon.”  And then if you watch for it, you’ll see that unmistakable denial smile on the reporter.  What is a “denial smile” you may ask? That’s when you are lying to yourself and everyone else and your body knows it even if your brain doesn’t.  So your mouth curls up at the edges just a bit, and gives you away.  If you ever need to know if you are lying, go stand in front of the mirror and see if I’m right.  If you saw Bush’s farewell speech the other night, you’ve seen a “denial smile,” but I digress.  You’ll need to get used to that. Digress is my middle name.

When freezing cold weather is predicted, you are told it is going to be “chilly.”   When it is due to snow, now matter how much is coming, you are ALWAYS told “accumulation of up to 1 – 3 inches.”  I had 2 feet of brand new snow on my driveway a just a few short weeks ago while Yahoo Weather was still telling me that I could expect a total accumulation of about 1 inch.   And of the 1-3 inches that was predicted last night for the overnight, about 6 of those inches have already fallen.  And it’s still snowing.

On a February visit before I moved here – as there was snow on the ground and it was 15 outside – I was told by one woman that it was “unseasonably chilly and snowy.”  There were maybe 3 inches of snow.  I suspiciously eyed the 5 foot tall red flags on all the fire hydrants and immediately figured out someone was lying. It had to be either the nice smiling lady in the very well used North Face blizzard-proof parka, or the hydrant flags, which are there so that firemen can find the hydrants under 5 feet of plowed snow drifts.  They were both lying.  The plowed snow drifts will tower well over 10 feet by March….and it doesn’t really stop snowing til mid-May.  You do the math.

You don’t believe me?  Check out what was going on my first Maine spring, on April 5th, the morning after I had swept my decks clear of any and all snow….

April 5 2007Caption:  1-3 inches of snow expected overnight…..

You’ll see I even set the camera to show the date because I was pretty sure that no-one outside of Maine was going to believe that that’s what happens in April.  Did I mention that the winters are long?

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